Understand-Me-Not

I am feeling so suck. Believe or not I just cried. Do not ask why. Please just read and go on or else just Alt+f4. You are so lucky today you manage to see me post 2 posts. I am suppose to do some other thing else but someone ran into my world and got me down. Do not ask who. First day of the fucking July. I am started to hate this July. It would not be a better month for me. I know it. So could you just leave me alone. 

I does not need any people to interfere with my matters. Leave me absolutely alone. I prefer alone than anything. Do not comfort me. Pointless. It will only make me to cry in front of you. I hates to cry in front of people. What do YOU expect from me? I am so frustrated. Got me look at myself like a Bitch. Crying over and over. Life never gets better from that moment onwards. Arguments always comes. When the hell it will ends? It is not my matter okay?

I have not been requesting anything in my life why must you interfere over and over again. Why are you making my life complicated? Do you know how I suffer for the past few years. And NOW I was able to stand up strong since last month why must you make people feels that I am weak in front of them?

This can happen anytime around July but not the first day. Why YOU choose today for me?

I am feeling so fucking stress over all my stuffs. I want to be a better friend of people and it got me like I am a real Bitch that does not worth anyone to treat me good. Finding over a true friend to talk about matters really hard cause I  does not have the courage to trust in anyone else. Why? 

Every time such thing happen it will totally affect my performance on my piano. I am facing my final pieces exam on the 20th. I was so afraid. I never have such feeling before this. Perhaps I put too high expectation on it. I wanted to be a good student, good girl, good lover and so on. Things doesn't comes out well. I know I am so suck that I cannot even forgive myself. Hurting myself over and over again. 

It is totally not my day today, 1st July 2012.

It is my black Sunday.

DO NOT ASK ME A SINGLE THING.

I WILL TALK TO YOU IF I WOULD LIKE TO.