Write to release stress!

How am I doing recently? Don't ask. I never been having any beautiful, fantasy, enjoyable, carefree, stress-free, wonderful, amazing and etc life. People might say that I am facing my life in a negative way but I do not think so. It's people that make my life painful, tired, depressed, complicated, disturbing, irritating and so on. FML. I can't see any fucking thing that make my life better in future. I had been working so damn hard. Struggling. As if I am going to fall but I am still holding onto it but what do I get in the end? Nothing. I get nothing. My life never been easy. I had been struggling hard. Clinging onto that so-called happy thingy/ Who even cares? Nobody gives a damn to it. I am talking shits either. I never wanted to tell myself how the hell I hate this life. I just want to make it better but I can't help it. Nothing makes my life happier. Feeling wanted and so on. I am just everyone's burden. Hate me. I know cause I hate myself too. Don't feel sorry when you read it. I don't need anyone's sympathy! I know I suck. It's  just to release my stress. Sorry if I had disturbed your mind. Its just some rubbish. Ignore me.

Happy Father's Day!

First and foremost, I would like to thank my dad for taking all his responsibilities well by taking care of us (mom, brothers and me). He might be harsh towards my siblings and I but he was just protective. I know. I m not those kind of person that might say thank you easily sometimes but I know all the things that you did for me in my heart. I will thank you quietly in my heart. I do not like to boast over how much I love you or thanks you like what those people did on Facebook or whatever in certain times so that's me! 

To be very honest, there will be nothing very much special in those occasions like Father's Day or Mother's Day or any others for my family. We might just as well going out for dinner as a celebration for the occasions. Instead of eat , we could not have any better idea on going for trips because we are all busy! Well, my family had an early celebration dinner this year for Father's Day. I know that I should have post it earlier but I was busy reading over my novel "Never Enough" by Denise Jaden. This novel is just so damn amazing and I had been reading it a few days ago and it is coming to the end very soon. Well, let's forget about this topic and get back to the topic of "father's day celebration". We had our dinner at Amelios', Desa Parkcity  on the 13th of June (Thursday). I loved the breads there especially the blueberry one. It's so damn yummy! Overall the breads are the best and not to forget about the Osaka cupcakes. They are delicious too! 

Oh my blueberry bread! <3

The mushroom soup was yummy too! :P

My dad called this artistic. It was because they all took the food before
I could capture the photo of the complete pizza. -.-

This is a very random dish with bacon, fried chicken and fried fillet. 

Oh! I mentioned that I had a haircut on twitter but I did not post any.
And here's the new look of me myself in June. :)

My hair got shorter and lighter! <3

Lastly, before I forget. Happy Father's Day to all the Fathers on the Earth! :)
Have a nice day!
Just a simple update.
Hope you like it. <3

Those days

I loved the photos of Paris especially with the Eiffel Tower. Do you like Paris? Yes, I do. It's a very romantic place to go. P.s.Actually, I got this photo from one of the Facebook page. Today is the last day of semester 2 holiday and I am heading back to my University soon. It's tomorrow. A fresh new and boring semester 3 (short one). Never mind. I will use up all my time to do something better this time. I promise. I know time passes very fast. Just like the quote of "Time waits for no man." So we shall all appreciate our time and plan it wisely. Out of the sudden, I reflect on what I had been doing for the past 2 years after I had left my high school. I realized that I had been through too much painful and sad memories. I think those who followed my twitter for the past 2 years will know about it. When I recall back, I just realized that those matters are just a piece of nut. Family, financial stuffs, studies, relationships matters and etc. All these are just some kinda matters that had been accompanying me to go through these years. 2 years of pain and memorable memories are just part of the history in my life for now. Do you know that those painful memories had brought me to be more matured? Yes, it developed me to become a more matured person. I realized each and every problems come just for the reason behind it. I had been taking them as challenges in my life and just solving all these matters one by one. I realized that life is just too interesting instead of giving up those things that are precious to me. I promise that I will not give up no matter what happens. There goes the "me" for today! If you know what I  mean. :)
It's a very meaningful and interesting 2 years to be a better me. Great memories.
I know youngsters like me should not always look back but I just want to remind myself not to forget when I fall and how I get up again. I am satisfied with my life in this moment.

"Life is all about falling down and how you are going to get up again."

Love Me or Leave Me

Did you wonder how I get along with my holidays? As I mentioned in my previous post, I watched a  Taiwan drama titled "Love Me or Leave Me" or "我租了一个情人". Wow! I loved this drama a lot! In my opinion, it's the second drama that can compete with "Autumn Concerto" or known as "下一站幸福".  Oh my! I tell you one thing. I am seriously in love with the main character, Chris Wang. He is not very hot or handsome whatsoever but he is so damn cute! <3 I loved the way he acts in the drama.

"Love me or Leave me" 
It is about  Ji Qing(Tiffany Hsu) had trauma on marriage. Her boyfriend, Fang Hao Ming (Chris Wang) had been proposing to her for a lot of times but he failed all the times. For the last time he proposed, as usual Ji Qing rejected him again. Yes. It's again. However, Hao Ming did not give up. He then sets an ultimatum to have a trial marriage for a month or break up. On the last day, last minute before it ends, Ji Qing appears in front of Hao Ming's house. (It's a yes to the trial marriage!)
Later on, Ji Qing finds Zhao Shan Shan (Albee Huang) to help her to check out whether Hao Ming is a good guy or not. Something happen in between and both of them cannot be together for quite some time.

Tiffany Hsu and Chris Wang.

Left : Li Kang Yi as Liao Yi Ren

Middle: Alan Kuo as Ding Sheng Hua

Right: Albee Huang as Zhao Shan Shan

My favourite scene:

I love this scene. It is quite funny! They were both caught naked in the pool. XD

They both ended up overnight in the police station.

都给你by 宥勝 (Chris Wang) 

I loved this song! <3

The theme song "幸福就好" by Soo Wincci 

Overall it's a very nice drama! I loved the story line and of course the main character, Chris Wang! He's so cute even though he is not hot! I loved the way he act cute! Bwahahhaha! 4/5 rating for this drama.

Well, to be honest I found out that the female main character is kinda like my character, patterns and so on. And guess what? She's the same horoscope as me. Leo. :P 

However, I don't like the ending but it's kinda "real life ending". Hmmm... What's the ending? Find out yourself! Hehe :D

One more Lifeless Holiday!

Yes. My exams are officially over on last Wednesday. I was so excited  over my Taiwan drama until I forgot to blog. I am having a short break of one week before starting a short semester! I can feel the "lifeless life aura" coming towards me. Please, I do not want to take Bahasa Malaysia for the next semester. I had forgotten most of my BM words I used to use it during high school. Yet, I have to retake my Malaysian studies which I had already taken in foundation. Never mind. After this, I will be looking forward to learn lots of things during this short semester. Keep myself update with a lot of things. I have a very long to-do-list for this year.

1) Get to know how to cook. (yes. I did it!)
2) Get a new cupboard for myself. (I did it too!)
3) Get a new phone.
4) Learn to make up and do braids.
5) Improve my language skills.
6) Get a great preparation for year 2.

心碎了

以下你所看到的都是废话。。如过不想看就把我的网站关掉。

心情不能平复下来。太多问题发生。这好像是我第一次在blog 上写华语。如果写的你不明白那没关系应为这不需要任何人去明白。我只是想要发射以下我的情绪。我没有心情去准备面对大考。。21 号就是我的大考第一天。我最经真的很伤心。。为了太多无聊的事情而忙。自己想到都觉得很傻。无条件而付出但这就是我所得到的。为什么我永远都是别人的最后一个选择而不会是某某人的第一个选择？难道我不是人吗? 这世界太残酷了。只是会让我看见一切我最不想面对的事情。我真的好累。能不能就这样放过我吗？我真的就快要疯了。难道连到我疯的那一天你都不能放过我？我不知道我在写什么废话。。如果不想看那就请你把我的网站关掉。我妈妈生病还没好，我真的很烦。这些问题几时才能够解决掉？ 我又要面对大考。你教我这样解决我的问题。然后又跟我爸爸吵架。妈海！我真的受不了了！平淡的日子几时回来？ 谁会明白我的感受？没有人。。一直以来都是我自己面对。说会陪我度过都不是我自己一个人。害怕一个人，寂寞一个人，什么都是一个人。。有谁真真能够站在我的立场看？白痴。。不会再有任何人能够给我那么一点点的安全感。。只是说说而已就有。。别说朋友或任何人。。连家人或亲友都不能。别再想什么安全感。。通通都是废话。我从经以后都不会靠任何人了不是我坚强。只不过没有一个靠得住。说什么安慰我的话都是逗我开心而已。全部都是骗人的。在我最需要你们的时候，你们不会在我身边。不是不在而是你们给我不够的关心。连我不开心或压力都没有人懂。算了吧！我不能怪别人。可能是我在你们的面前表现的没有事。怪就怪我太强了吧。对不起，我今天的心情不太好。如果得罪你们的话，我道歉。并不是每个人都是这样对我。。只是大部分的人给我的感觉就是这样。

我骂够了。我也忍够了。对不起。

Down For Now!

I am done with my English 2 paper! I know that my blog seems like it is already dead but I am trying my best to write new posts for it. Currently I am not in a very good situation. Facing too much problems and even as busy as a bee. I have to settle too much problems and my personal emotions. Its very shaky recently. I got depressed easily without any reason. It is not like no reason but just some sort of reasons. My mom is sick and I gotta take care of her. I am facing the UK papers very soon and I gotta study for it but I have no mood for these stuffs. My boss even give pressure on me. How can I ever not STRESS? If you guys thought that my work got me stressed up, you are wrong. If I am not working, I might not be able to gain so much experience and I may not have salaries for me to spend and it helped me to solved most of my problems. Giving piano lessons to the kids are not my major problem. I do not have the problems with the kids. There are still some circumstances that make me feel stress. I am absolutely tired, worn out, stressed, depressed and so on. Nothing really can describe my feelings for this moment. I hoped that everything will be back to normal ASAP. I had been begging Him for it but it seems like I am not sincere enough. I will try my best. Sorry, my mind wandered around a moment ago and I am not sure what I am trying to crap about. It might be due to the unsolved problem for 2 months plus. That really make me feel that way.

Well, forget about those rubbish up there. Did you wondered how was my English paper? It was freaking hard,man! I am not sure of what rubbish I crapped for the essay part and I screwed the comprehension part. It was so freaking hard. I do not even know kinda questions that they are trying to ask.. For example: "How did the author rephrase the main idea in the conclusion." It's my first time having such question in my exam paper. Yet, for now, I do not even want to bother over it now. It is over. All I could do is just to pray hard that this problem will be solved asap without worries. Hopefully everything will go back as usual. I just remembered. Today is Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers on the Earth. May all of them be as healthy as always. To be very honest, I am not in any mood of saying or celebrating Mother's Day. It is because I am worried sick and I am using my actions to show how much I love my mom not by saying. 

Mom, I love you. I know I cannot do anything to help much but please get well soon! 

Ciaoz! See you when I am in a better mood, readers!

I am so sorry for showering my blog post with some kinda emo stuffs.
I will cheer up asap. :)